I'm trying to remember all the things I dislike about you so I can try to convince myself to hate you. This would be much easier if I hated you...Last night, a picture of a family had me in tears. I get this sick, sick feeling in my stomach when I think of how much I know we are supposed to be together, but know how much it would hurt me to be with you right now. I feel like this is a test - of my own self-worth, I think. To prove to me that I'm worth that much...Enough that I should not be willing to settle for someone who does not treat and respect me like a queen.
Even now, as I write, there is a huge knot in my throat, tears well up in my eyes at the thought of no you! What were we supposed to be? If not forever, were we long enough? If enough, why do I have such a void where you once were? Every day my heart breaks a little more. I wish for it to soon, begin to mend instead.
I wish my mind would step in and overpower my heart again. No substitute is cutting it. Only logic can have an effect - emotion must submit.
No comments:
Post a Comment