flying furniture

Flashback to relationships past, I wake to yelling. He hit something so hard, I could hear from the 10th floor. I hope it was just her car...he stands between her door and it's body. She can't leave. I feel her fear. "You stupid f**ing whore!" he repeats over and over. It's 3:30am, he can't stand up straight. Some people need an overload switch. Wish he had passed out instead, for her sake, and my own. 911 and I figure out which intersection. Still in a haze with my birds-eye view. I watch over her, feeling helpless...remembering times past. Wanting to run to her, knowing I'd be next.

A neighbor walks her dog...not much of a deterrent. Fortunately he lets her go - police haven't yet arrived. The neighbor approaches her to make sure she is alright...buys the cops time. I'm elated when they arrive! "Don't send them away" I plead with her in my head. As she shivers, he comes out. Hurling bottles and insults from the 8th floor. Police and she go on their merry way. His resurgence of anger, begs return. Flying furniture. Very classy. Remind me not to park near that building. 911 again. Annoyed the first officer left...the second infantry arrives. They call back. Sorry, I can't help. Don't live there, don't have the code.

In between, I think of her, how I felt when that was me. Giving thanks it's me no more...I recall in vibrant color. Nanoseconds of history: So fresh, yet so stale. Rousing the fear from it's tomb into the sub-basement. Still too close for comfort, I write instead of sleep. Hoping her shivering soon stops. Knowing, when it does, her sobbing will not. Ashamed for his behavior, the booze is not to blame. A mere window to his soul. High on entitlement...jealously...narcissism...even shame! Different people, different drug, same game.

They never change. You do.

The cops are gone, his lights are off. I settle in. Pensively closing my eyes...hoping I remain on the 10th floor and the memories return to their tomb. This week has brought enough unrest already. Only one has found his peace...coincidentally, one I ran to in my own shivering moments. Grandpa, thank you for being a refuge when I needed you most. In Heaven is your reward I could never afford to pay.