so what if my picture is still on your refrigerator

So tired, and not really sleeping these days. You don't get credit for this. Just a general excitement, followed by an uneasiness...it's an unfamiliar life, this freedom.

People don't understand, I don't want to hear about you. I don't care that it is finally hitting you - now your mouth spews sugar where there was once bitterness. For my own gratification? I gave up on gratification the day I chose not to regret a moment, embrace hope, and pass Go, without collecting $200. It was your get out of jail free card, but you only get one. Dry your tears. Now your prison is your own mind.

Against everything I learned about love - and adoration - and unconditional loyalty, I exist here. Now. There are no more cheeks to turn. I stick with the decision and must disown the propensity to justify my stance. All is not lost...I've seen a ray of hope - proving he exists, somewhere - not just in dreams.

In this life, or the next, or never...I will not settle.