About the "Blue Book"

FORWARD: Throughout the second half of my life, I have always kept journals. I believe that they can be a wonderful outlet for happiness, for stress, for things that you can not speak out loud - maybe because you don't have the guts, you don't want to hurt someone, or maybe because you don't want to acknowledge reality....

I wrote so I would not forget. I used to, and sometimes still, repress things - but that's not the only reason I wanted to remember. I wanted to remember so I would learn from my past. Anyone who knows me, knows my philosophy on regrets...I have none...but the only way that is possible is to take my experiences and use them when making decisions in the present.

And I wanted to capture my emotions in the moment, or at least soon there after, whether they were good or bad - to be able to vividly recall them...On occasion, I used them for motivation for change. Other times, to remember and appreciate the blessings I have received in my lifetime.

Most of my previous books are full of some pretty funky stuff, some very sad, some very happy, some confused. Every emotion is captured. Mostly past relationship issues. Some family stuff too, often comtemplating the direction of my life.

I bought a pink one once. Swore I'd only write good things. It started out good. Then I didn't write much. Although it breaks a steadfast rule, blank pages remain - as if a chapter has been left out. One day, I will finish that chapter...when I am ready to revist that part of my life.

Then I found the next one...

The "Blue Book" is a journal of sorts, too. But this one is different. A beautiful soft, Italian leather bound, baby blue. My mom's favorite color...with a crested fleur on the cover. This one was going to be reserved. Reserved for "the one". I held out a good year before the first entry, and even that entry was first written in a separate notebook and later transcribed...I will type exactly as written.