Funny how thoughts keep getting interrupted lately. I think, the previous entry was supposed to address the highs & lows of love. Nevermind, though, for now. I'll come full circle again later, I'm sure. So tonight, there are several things on my "mile-high" mind. On my way back from Anaheim ~ a few days, I've been away. There is a peace I feel ~ and have been feeling lately ~ about life. I'm not so worried about the pieces falling into place. Somehow I know they will...In my personal life, I'm slowly learning to let go a little bit.
It's not quite as painful as I thought it would be ~ relinquishing control of something I've been gripping so tightly. Once the initial stiffness wears off, it's actually a relief & quite pleasant. At work, I realized today, I'm not as eager to apply this new found realization. My new job is about 2 months in & you'd think I was doing it for years. Plus there are so many codependances that get quite overwhelming at times. So many people in positions where change is critical yet they are oblivious ~ or if not, overwhelmed, too! But I need them. They will have a great impact on the success of my projects.
So, I take on the role of captain ~ even if it's jeopardizing other commitments ~ I guess I'm hoping to inspire & organize so the troops aren't so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is right or wrong. I just know it has the potential of making my job a lot less fun. Is it a trade off for success, though? Maybe a short term investment of sorts? Will I survive long enough to see the lasting effects or am I going to burnout before I ever get that far? I'm happy to be home, although I have some serious stuff to do before I head out again on Tuesday for Houston.
Somehow Monday and now seem a ways apart. I guess that's just one significance of what's inbetween. Love, family, sleep, laundry...my home that I love. My car, my town, my happiness. Oh, and a green river. That'll be fun. So until then, I'm tired.
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