Saturday, May 27, 2006
Out of the blue…book that is…5/27/06
Missing that "ideal" again. It's so incredibly hard to have the complete awareness that I have something incredible and yet still be yearning for something that is entirely impossible. They are two separate worlds, opposites with extreme possibilities. One brings nothing but happiness in the environment and the relationship, distress. The other, happiness in the relationship and monotony in the environment. Is there an in-between? Or can I have it all ~ my dream?
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Out of the blue…book that is…5/17/06
Lamenting the dreaded first entry into "the book" ~ because I have reserved it for the final book in my search. An unrealistic expectation ~ yet again. Doesn't surprise the reader or the writer ~ my typical fare. Do I abhor disappointment ~ of course ~ don't we all? Yet I encourage it. What happened to reckless abandon of youth? Lost…in experience. No matter. "The book" will be there ~ whenever I'm ready for it. Not likely it'll be long.
It's the perfect "something blue" for the wedding day tradition. Maybe it'll be about love in general instead of a particular person ~ not citing specific instances, but instead, the philosophy developed as an explanation to the emotional response to circumstance and even happenstance. This is a much safer approach for the sake of "the book" as well as "the writer". Maybe this will be embraced as the proper approach to chronicling this time in life, when major life decisions are being made - and un-made - on a regular basis. It leaves less pressure to stick with the original, noted plan, although would, therefore not encourage commitment or a resolve to make the "right" decision the first go around. But that has never been my quest ~ obviously. I only resolve to not make the same mistake twice ~ and wait!! Who's calling them mistakes anyway?
If I could go back and had to make these choices again, I know I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had. Why should that be considered a mistake? Unless, only in light of the opinion of an outsider, which has no bearing. I regress, "the book" will develop into whatever it was meant to be, and I will continue to live authentically. The way I have resolved to live. And those I choose to share my life with, will be named if I choose, or will remain obscure, if more appropriate. The writing of the next chapter commences…
It's the perfect "something blue" for the wedding day tradition. Maybe it'll be about love in general instead of a particular person ~ not citing specific instances, but instead, the philosophy developed as an explanation to the emotional response to circumstance and even happenstance. This is a much safer approach for the sake of "the book" as well as "the writer". Maybe this will be embraced as the proper approach to chronicling this time in life, when major life decisions are being made - and un-made - on a regular basis. It leaves less pressure to stick with the original, noted plan, although would, therefore not encourage commitment or a resolve to make the "right" decision the first go around. But that has never been my quest ~ obviously. I only resolve to not make the same mistake twice ~ and wait!! Who's calling them mistakes anyway?
If I could go back and had to make these choices again, I know I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had. Why should that be considered a mistake? Unless, only in light of the opinion of an outsider, which has no bearing. I regress, "the book" will develop into whatever it was meant to be, and I will continue to live authentically. The way I have resolved to live. And those I choose to share my life with, will be named if I choose, or will remain obscure, if more appropriate. The writing of the next chapter commences…
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